My daughter Anabel’s friends shared they were woke—in the middle of the night—by an Amber Alert that went out on the cellular network.

The girls were surprised when Anabel told them she didn’t see the alert until the morning when she turned on her phone.

At our house screen time happens in shared living spaces and phones are powered off overnight. My kids have old-fashioned alarm clocks and don’t take phones to bed.

One of Anabel’s friends said, “I wish I had more restrictions like that put on me!” 

Then another friend shared she’s spending too much time on her device every day. “I’d like to spend less time on it, but I’m addicted and I can’t stop.”

I’m by no means a pro in the boundaries department, but I’m glad I stuck (hard and fast) to this one rule. They’ve tested me on it from day one!

Kids want—and need—boundaries.

Adolescence is a time when boundaries are pushed and limits are tested. But it’s hard for kids to push up against boundaries if there aren’t enough in place.

Sometimes when we say “no, that’s not happening,” they’re actually relived. Kids feel safe knowing there are limits.

Sometimes my kids think I’m too strict. I think it’s worth it.

It’s taken me years of uncertainty, tears, and practice to find where to draw the line as a parent.

I’m still working on it every day and I will be for the rest of my life.  

What I love about working on parenting boundaries is it’s helping them create their own boundaries in their personal lives. When I use a firm “no” with them, they learn it’s okay to do the same with their peers.

I’m humbled to say I’m still figuring all this out, moment to moment.

I’d love to hear how you’re feeling about the boundaries your kids need, in the comments below.

You are not alone when it comes to making hard decisions about your child’s freedom.

We’re in this together,
Carolyn