February 21, 2019

My life is not perfect.

A few years ago one of my girls broke a window in a fit of rage. You know, the antique glass window? My other girl has slammed too many doors to count. I don’t always know how to manage the intensity that can take over my household. It comes in like a hurricane when I least expect it.

There’s also the competition between my kids for my attention, the every day arguments that go with sharing space and the awareness that each child is going through their own stage of development. And I can’t always make sense of it in the moment.

Let’s face it–sometimes doing it alone is too much!

This is why I take my kids to counselling.

Not because they are maladjusted or have severe problems. I do it because having a professional involved in their lives makes me feel like I have an objective support to contribute to their growth and development.

I can feel my body begin to relax when we get into her office. All the swirling of emotions start to settle as I hear what’s on my child’s mind and start to take a step back.

It helps me to feel I have a team working with me who have her well-being in mind.

Sometimes it’s a stretch financially.

But when we both leave the sessions feeling lighter and are filled with new ideas, I know it’s worth every penny.

Taking my child to counselling means getting real with myself.

I have to be willing to open myself up to examination as a parent. I have to admit I don’t always have the answers and I certainly don’t always do it “right”.

It doesn’t matter if you have a partner, grandparent, or a whole neighbourhood parenting with you. Getting outside support (from your brand of professional) can really help ease the worry and lighten the load.

It’s worth the world to me. What is support worth to you? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.

Remember—you’ve got this!

With Love,
Carolyn

Comments

Kaitlin says

I love this!! Such a wonderful thing to do! xoxo I am definitely going to take this with me as my kids get older and emotions get stronger.

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Carolyn Jyoti says

Kaitlin love, I'm so glad! You are a wise mama! xo

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Tiffany Dumont says

Beautiful!
It's the struggle with my ego that prevents me from doing this (and financial)...but with two teenagers in the house, I know it's a must!
I know it doesn't make me any less of a person to ask for help or for an outside opinion. If anything, it builds strength in the self...and in doing so, teaches the kids that it's ok to be ourselves in all our imperfections.
Love love love ❤️

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Carolyn Jyoti says

Karuna/Tiffany, Oh this is so true. Our children get to realize that none of us are perfect. Seeking support makes me stronger and also look at the part I play in it all! Hard stuff yet so essential to grow as a human. LOVE you brave mama.

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Stacey says

We go to marriage counseling. No, our marriage isn’t struggling, but in order to keep it strong and help us wade through the trials and challenges that parenting brings, we have decided that some outside help from a professional is absolutely essential. It is also a lot cheaper than divorce attorneys, alimony and child support! We have also not hesitated to involve our children in counseling as needed. The key for us was finding a therapist we could both relate to, and one who we genuinely felt cared for our family. It has been worth its weight in gold! The truth is, no matter where we are in life, all of us can use a little extra help to cope with all life brings our way.

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neil says

so proud of you, sister dearest.

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Virginia says

Sending love to one of the wisest and most caring moms around (that's you, Carolyn!!). xo

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Carolyn Jyoti says

Stacey, you are a shining example to us all! It is essential to be cared for as a couple and as a family. Thank you for sharing here.

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Carolyn Jyoti says

Thanks for your support Neil!

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Carolyn Jyoti says

Virginia! Right back at you - you're the bestest! xo

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Dawn says

yep double yep. Its true that the swirling of emotions start to settle when you get in there--just knowing there is a witness to the struggle and support coming shifts things in an of itself too. So well said.

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Carolyn Jyoti says

Dawn, Yes I feel the same way when I know the help is on it's way it all starts to shift. Power to us all for seeking support. xo

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